I am a fan of records, and not just those perpetually cool albums that you can name-drop in a conversation and immediately have an aura of awesomeness around you. Fortunately, I have given up on being cool a long time ago and I am pretty content with being authentically me instead.
I realize that I prefer to pick my albums using the same criteria I use to pick out wine.
1. Cheapness. I am a fan of discount booze like I am a fan Goodwill records. You don't need to invest a lot of money to bring a lot of joy.
4. Novelty. Since I don't have a refined palate for either music or alcohol, I am able to appreciate a lot of mediocre content. My standards aren't impossibly high because I don't have the skill set to recognize the flaws anyway. If the wine or album were the best ever made, they wouldn't be in the discount bin, would they? I can appreciate it for what it is and not expect perfection. My expectations are sufficiently low for me to be happy with nearly every purchase.
3. Fun pictures. You bet I pick out wine that has an interesting label, and most of my record selections were based on cover art. An amazingly, awesomely bad cover art is my favorite.
4. Variety. Its nice to have a beverage and music for any mood. Sometimes I want sad, old country. Sometimes polkas, or marching bands, or hymns, or show tunes. Sometimes something a little royal like Carole King, Nat King Cole or Elvis (the King of Rock).
Here are some "highlights" of my collection:
|Alvin and crew sing Bette Davis Eyes, Whip It, Queen of Hearts, etc. I love my children. A lot.|
|With that expression, he looks like Columbo ready to solve the Case of the Harmonica Murder.|
|Who thinks Polka music isn't fun? This group's claim to fame is that they played at the Nebraska State Fair 26 years in a row. Oh, and there were a lot more than six people in the actual band. And they weren't all fat.|
|I enjoy classical music. I enjoy classical music performed by an orchestra of Robin Hood clad musicians immensely more.|
|You don't have to be a pre-teen boy to recognize the humor of a conductor named "Whoopee Will Fart". I mean Wilfahrt. And there are Hummel figurines making out on the cover.|