As much as I love to compete, I've always felt nauseous before sporting events. When I played basketball, I would feel queasy till about second quarter. When I used to be a fast-pitch softball pitcher, I would pitch nearly an entire games worth of pitches in warm-up before I calmed down enough for the game. And, when I played college rugby, I was jittery and sick to my stomach until my first really hard tackle.
Tomorrow is another big game and I am already nervous.
After several summers of alternating between pregnancy and nursing a newborn, a few years ago I was able to join our church's co-ed D-league softball team. We have fun, but, struggle to win more than one or two games a season. You would think this lack of expectations would lower my stress level, but no. My adrenaline still works overdrive.
So, tomorrow's game will be the big showdown between my team and Connor's preschool teacher's team. Clearly the stakes are very high. And tackling someone early in the game to relieve nervousness (my former rugby strategy) tends to be frowned upon.
Its silly, really that I am so worried about letting down my team or making a foolish mistake. But, I still want to do my best at whatever I do. I want to impress my kids when they are shout "Go Mommy, Go!" really loudly.
As a at-home mom there isn't much chance for competition, other than the occasional Scrabble game with a friend. Here's hoping that I play my best at tomorrow's game. Without vomiting or tackling anyone.